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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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