He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
