You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
