I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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