i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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