I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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