Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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