i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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