How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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