What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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