I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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