TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
