Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
