Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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