take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He better not be in your backpack
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
