I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
