I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
