mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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