I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
