Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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