Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
how does that bad decision feel?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
