not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize