Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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