he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
