so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
