Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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