Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
