dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
