I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
