I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize