I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
