Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
