I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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