i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
