I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
