I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we made out on top of his cat.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
