i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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