Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
