ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
