If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
