Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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