I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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