I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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