Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
