We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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