so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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