ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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