I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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