Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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