i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
