She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
