Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize