He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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