but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
