i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
