he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
