i would punch a child for taco bell
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
