She announced her abortion via fbk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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