Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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