You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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