Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize