His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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