Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
