My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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