The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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