Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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