weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
