Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
