And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize