I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
